According to a research project done by LifeWay over 70% of teenagers brought up in a faith tradition leave their faith tradition by the time they are 20. Quite frankly this statistic is much more generous than other similar research studies. Normally this number is a lot higher in other studies. In understanding, this there is a question we must ask no matter the number. Are we okay with it? I hope we are not.
There is a really good quote from my readings today that inspired this post because I felt compelled to share it. It speaks volumes to the above statistic I have quoted.
I am currently reading The Teaching Ministry of Congregations, by Richard Osmer for my class I am taking this summer for my doctoral degree, and he makes a very awesome point for those who wish to pass on their faith to their children and for churches who want their children to grow up in the faith, which if we take our faith seriously it means we don’t have a choice on this matter. The word of God teaches us in Proverbs 22:6,
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
This is one verse of many others I could pull to demonstrate the expectation and our call to pass the faith on to our children. However, the biggest question I see people not asking in references to this call is how we actually accomplish this. I feel Osmer gives us a really good starting point to answering this question,
“First, since the most important growth and learning of the natural learner takes place outside of settings such as the church school, the congregational curriculum must give special attention to parent education. The family is potentially one of the most important venues of Christian education during this period. In the home, children can begin to learn elementary action scripts for activities such as prayer, helping others, and sharing. If parents read their children simple, age-appropriate Bibles stories, then they lay a foundation for their children’s understanding of God and the church.” (Page, 124-125)
First, to parents, you are the single most influential person in your children’s lives. You hold more sway than you think. If the faith isn’t practiced in the home it will be hard for your child(ren) to carry on the faith when they move from the home. We cannot simply sit idoly by and expect the church to do all the work for us. The church only has our kids for three hours of the week if they are lucky. We have them for quite a lot more. If faith is to be taught and passed down it must begin in the home.
Now to churches, if we are not taking time in our educational processes to help and teach parents to do this very important work in their homes we are failing in making disciples who make disciples. The church over the years has become very effective at reaching children and youth in the droves but has failed to effectively reach the parents of the children. We must get better at reaching families holistically. Not only educating children in the faith but teaching parents how to be teachers of the faith themselves in their homes. Only then will we start to see an ending to the mass exodus happening in our teenagers upon graduation from high school.
With all of this being said I ask two questions. One to parents. One to churches.
Parents, what is one more thing you can start doing today as parents to help pass on the faith in our homes?
Churches, what is one more thing you can begin to, or expand, on how you train parents to be teachers of the faith in their own homes?